When the World’s on Fire and Trump’s Just Chuckin’ a Sickie
As tensions explode between India and Pakistan, Trump’s second term reveals a shift in US global priorities—less “world cop,” more “watch from the sidelines.” Here’s the Aussie-style breakdown, with stats, maps, and more snark than a kangaroo in a barfight.
When missiles start flying between two nuclear-armed neighbours, the world usually expects Uncle Sam to toss on a cape and play peacekeeper. But under Trump’s second term, the US seems more keen on binge-watching world crises than resolving them.
Key Event: A terrorist attack on Indian tourists triggered fresh fury in Kashmir. India’s response? Airstrikes inside Pakistan. Pakistan’s reply? Claims of downing Indian jets. The result? Chaos.
Trump’s Response?
“It’s a shame… I just hope it ends quickly.”
Talk about diplomatic energy equal to a half-charged battery.
🏉 Diplomatic Benchwarmer: Trump’s Foreign Policy Breakdown
| 🧾 Global Crisis | 🇺🇸 Trump’s Engagement | 🔍 Aussie Take |
| India-Pakistan (Kashmir) | “Hope it ends soon” + phone calls via Rubio | As hands-off as a bloke at a vegan BBQ. |
| Ukraine War | Pushed for rare earth deals in Kyiv | Diplomacy? Nah, just sniffing minerals. |
| Gaza Conflict | Proposed ethnic relocation + luxury resort dream | Literal neocolonialism wrapped in a resort brochure. |
| Yemen (Houthi Rebels) | Claimed ceasefire, unverified | Ghost peace. All talk, no treaties. |
| China-Pakistan vs India | Favours Modi; disengaged from Pakistan since Afghanistan | Picked a side and called it “strategy.” |
📸 Scene of the Chaos: Kashmir
📷 Aircraft debris near a mosque in Pampore, Indian-controlled Kashmir – May 7, 2025
🗞️ Source: Dar Yasin/AP via CNN
📊 The Realpolitik Table: Strategic Value to Trump
| 🌍 Region | 💼 Monetary/Strategic Gain for US | 🧭 US Engagement Level | 📉 Why It’s Ignored or Pushed |
| Kashmir | None | Low | No oil, no minerals, no Trump Tower = no interest |
| Ukraine | Rare earth deposits | Medium | Engagement driven by economic extraction, not peace |
| Gaza | Land-grab ambitions for resort building | Low | Condemned globally, no real peace-building visible |
| Afghanistan Exit | Disengaged from Pakistan | Minimal | Strategic distance post-Taliban takeover |
🧠 Expert Views: Why Trump’s Playing It Cool (Too Cool)
- Milan Vaishnav (Carnegie Endowment):
“India is one of the most important strategic partners… Pakistan’s importance has really declined.”
– via CNN
- Tim Willasey-Wilsey (Royal United Services Institute):
“This president doesn’t want to be the policeman of the world… and leans toward Modi.”
– via CNN
🌍 Other Players Trying to Fill the Void
Middle East Diplomacy Attempts:
- Qatar:
- Emir called Modi — perceived as a snub to Pakistan
- Foreign Ministry supports regional mediation
- Source: CNN
- UAE & Saudi Arabia:
- As Pakistan’s lenders, they’ve got leverage—but are yet to act.
🪓 Australia’s Take: Too Many Stubbies Short of a Six-Pack?
Trump’s “foreign policy” seems less about alliances and more about asset management.
If there’s no resort to build, rare mineral to mine, or photo op to milk—he’s not turning up.
📉 Bottom Line:
The Kashmir crisis shows us just how far the US has wandered from global leadership under Trump 2.0. Where past presidents would’ve led shuttle diplomacy, Trump’s barely offering a group text.
🔚 Conclusion: Peace? Only If There’s Profit
In today’s world, diplomacy isn’t just about strategy—it’s also about attention spans. Trump’s is shorter than a bogan’s temper after losing at trivia night. Until this crisis becomes profitable or unignorable, don’t expect the US to dust off the peacekeeping toolkit.
