Nappies, Nostalgia & a Bit of Poo on Toast: One Mum’s Journey Through Parenthood & Losing Her Own
In a bittersweet tale of new life and fading memories, Aussie writer Alexandra Hansen opens up about becoming a mum while slowly losing her own—to young-onset dementia. A story full of heart, humour and hope.
“I Think I Can”: Mum, Memory & Motherhood in the Face of Dementia
When Alexandra Hansen found out she was pregnant, the first person she wanted to tell wasn’t her doctor or even her partner. Nope—it was Mum. Because let’s face it, no one else is going to text you 42 times a day asking if you’ve had enough water, if the baby’s kicked yet, and whether you’ve bought that exact nappy rash cream they swear by from 1988.
But Hansen’s mum, diagnosed with young-onset dementia at just 58, was already slipping away.
“Each time I saw Mum I would tell her my happy news again. Sometimes, she seemed to understand, sometimes she didn’t.”
– Alexandra Hansen, The Guardian
Quick Stats: Dementia in Australia
| Condition | Figures |
|---|---|
| Australians living with dementia (2024 est.) | 421,000+ |
| Diagnosed with young-onset dementia (<65yo) | 28,000+ |
| Most common cause of death in Aussie women | 1st |
| Number of people impacted indirectly (carers, family) | 1.6 million |
From Bottles to Bittersweet Memories
Hansen navigates the wild, exhausting world of new motherhood—midnight feeds, premature birth panic, and overflowing laundry baskets—while grieving her mum in real time. It’s like juggling crying babies and grief in the same nappy bag.
And yet, there are flickers of connection: when baby visits “Nana,” Mum’s face lights up, even if she refers to her grandson as “she.” She babbles lovingly in gibberish, proving you don’t need coherent words to express joy.
“She would’ve bought so much loot for the baby and I would’ve been protesting that we had no room … and asking if she had the receipts because we probably didn’t need 18 newborn-sized cardigans.”
From McDonald’s Sundaes to Motel Shower Hokey Pokeys
To hold onto her mum’s memory, Hansen has started jotting down little quirks and sayings: syrup-scooped sundaes, “poo on toast” jokes, and how Mum turned motel showers into dance routines. These fragments form a tapestry of a woman her son may never truly know, but who’ll live on through stories.
“I am slowly forgetting her, even though she is still here.”
What It Means to Mother Without a Mother
This essay isn’t just a weepy yarn—it’s a reminder that the “village” it takes to raise a child sometimes gets smaller in unexpected ways. The maternal safety net may fray, but it never quite vanishes. It shows up in friends who drop off casseroles unannounced, or in memories of a woman who once made scary things feel like games.
Final Thoughts: Love, Loss & Little Engines That Could
Alexandra Hansen’s moving reflection is a deeply Aussie story: one with humour, resilience, and a few tears hidden behind sunnies at the servo. Her story reminds us that even as we forget, we remember—and sometimes, that’s enough.
